Tibial-Industrial Menace: What is Behind the Rising Tide of Injuries Affecting America’s Stock Photo Construction Workers?
We at SLS have noticed an emerging trend that has gone vastly unreported elsewhere: something is injuring America’s stock photo construction workers at an alarming rate. These injuries appear to affect the tibia (shin bone) of said fictional workers to a disproportionately high degree. Whether it is a workers’ compensation seminar brochure, a personal injury attorney’s homepage, or a state agency’s work comp website, rampant shin-related injuries are plaguing stock photo actors at unprecedented levels. And while occasionally warehouse workers and semi-professional athletes suffer similar injuries, the greatest percentage of afflicted phony employees can undoubtedly be found in the construction sector.
Stock photo tibia injury can be identified by the following signs: a hard-hatted employee, in either the seated or prone position, will be splayed out on the floor, with both
hands clutching the leg at the purported injury site.
Frequently, a grimace accompanies the injury, which is also typified by the conspicuous absence of blood.
The most serious stock photo shin injuries give rise to immediate onset of existential dread.
Proper first-aid for stock photo shin injuries involves inviting a co-worker over to examine the wound, of which there will be none.
Together, they roll up the pant leg of the distressed worker to ensure, once again, that there is neither a visible wound nor any other indication that anything injurious has just occurred.
While the cause of Stock Photo Shin Injury is currently unknown, evidence suggests a common factor may be close proximity to ladders.
“Apparently, none of these stock photo construction workers bothered to watch ‘Stepladder Safety'," commented a representative from The American Ladder Institute.